Esau sold his birthright for meat. What hunger is driving you to compromise, to sell your birthright that Jesus Christ has given you? I’ve been guilty of being an Esau. Selling myself short and compromising, because I was hungry. I wanted peace. Silencing myself and never telling the truth never gave me peace. You can pray behind close doors, fast, have faith, but you can’t be compromising expecting a situation to be fixed and blessed. I’ve been guilty of turning God’s version of love into people pleasing, because I thought if I just showed them love and made them feel good I could literally love the hell out of them, but I am not the Saviour. Jesus is the only one who can save His people and He will never force someone to change.
Unconsciously choosing to try to please people who couldn’t be pleased by me or made whole by me, just honestly left me damaged and in need of a wake up call. It wasn’t until I got up out of my prayer closet and decided enough is enough. I was like the story of the prodigal son. I had compromised and went on a journey trying to fulfill my version of peace, my version of love, my version..but then I woke up and realized this is not what my Father has for me. I don’t have to just sit back and accept anything and everything. If it’s toxic for my spirit then God isn’t in it. I’m not selling my birthright because my heart doesn’t want conflict and hungers for peace. I’m not selling my birthright because I feel the need to be strong, have faith, and endure everything. I am not God!
There’s a season to endure and there’s a season to let go. Sometimes enduring means enduring the pain you feel of walking away and being lonely. Sometimes endurance is pushing through the pain of telling someone the ugly truth and hurting people’s feelings when all your heart wants to do is be nice to everybody. Enduring can look like shutting doors, quitting, and pushing past your thoughts and feelings on how you honestly think that makes you look. How many people are in relationships right now just because they don’t want to look like they failed or admit that you know what this isn’t working. Sometimes we need to cut ties and get by ourselves, so we can see clearly and set ourselves free by dealing with the ugly truth. You compromised in ways that you shouldn’t and allowed things to come into your life that shouldn’t have. You allowed your peace to be stolen. You allowed things to happen in your midst that you weren’t comfortable with. You put a lie on your face and in your words to give people the authority to do what they did, you made them believe that it was okay. When you look yourself in the mirror and find your truth, only then can you confess it and set yourself free.